The Last Mon Standing

The following exaggerated blog happened last Sunday evening

After many weeks of seclusion, I finally found myself again in that familiar place, -the barbershop.

I always dread for this day to come, because I know that once again, I’ll have another set of a heated argument with him, - the barber… since we can say that the shop is his place, his territory, his kingdom, his planet, it seems that I will always play the part of a loser in every argument.

But not anymore, I reckon, no I don’t just reckon, it is indeed the time to finally assert myself… even if this means blood (bwahahahaha)… I am now going to tell him, I mean order him, to cut my bangs short…

I entered the building. I didn’t say “good evening, may you please cut my hair,” it was already obvious why I was there… I sat on that rickety barber chair and goggled at the barber (through the mirror) as he cut the hairs on the back, the sides and on the top of my head… again, he forgot or should I say, he intentionally forgot to reduce the length of my bangs… or rather the hairs on my forehead that he left untouched to cover my (according to him) super, duper, mega, humongous problem- my gigantic forehead (hey it is not that big!!!!!!!!!).

I told him (in a very POLITE manner) “ will you please trim down my… ahem… bangs?” (I gave a distinctive inflection when I said the word BANGS).

He trimmed it down until it was just… JUST… a millimeter LESS long….

Again I insisted… he made some whining noise but he still trimmed them down. But as usual, I was not satisfied… I again asked him, but now he declined the idea….

I tried to argue respectfully since he is an old man, but he still insisted his piece.. until later on, we begun to quarrel.

“Trim them down, now."

“haven’t I told you before, that I eat children who squabble with me to cut their bangs?”

so, he’s pulling that one on me again, that’s why I said… “old man, do you honestly think that that threatens me?”

“oh no… I am not threatening you, I am just merely stating a fact…KIDDO”

when he said that, I immediately lose my temper… I jumped to him and punched him on the face as we both fell on floor… and to my surprise, he was laughing…
“now you’re really looking for trouble”… he held my collar and lifted me on the spot… he grinned wickedly and threw me on the wall..

“now do you still want me to cut your bangs short…?”

I surrendered…

I raised the white flag..

And I paid him for a “job well done”

Sniff

Sob