The Last Mon Standing

When we finally satisfied ourselves with the scrumptious exotic lunch, we decided to go round the area.

I was unable to ask about the actual size of the resort, but I tell you that it is really big. A river runs through it, there’s a beach in it, and it proudly boasts 20 or more authentic antique mansions.

We were really eager to inspect the houses. We asked Ruby if we can go inside. She was enthusiastic. She helped us roam the place and acted as our tour guide inside the two fully furnished houses that were not locked. I9 was actually eyeing the gigantic cathedral size mansion that’s still being constructed in the resort’s façade. But I declined the idea. I thought that it won’t be safe.

These, according to our instant tour guide, were original old houses that were taken from the different parts of the country.- particularly, Bulacan and Quezon. They were demolished from their original locations and transported and reassembled inside the resort.

The whole site was not yet open to the public. We were fortunate to be among the first persons to visit the place- and yeah, to even enter the houses.

We first went inside a two story old-fashioned Spanish style dwelling. The first floor was made of huge boulders of rocks. It was used as a granary for rice and other harvested products. The second floor’s made of wood.

We were instructed to remove our shoes and sandals before we come in.
The ambiance of the antiquity held us breathless. Somehow I was reminded of the Casa Manila in Intramuros and my grandparent’s house in Isabela. It was endowed with the same antique furniture inside. I was deeply impressed by the Baroque ceiling in different hues of orange and blue.

We didn’t have much time to further explore it. We were succumbed by an excessive yearning for picture taking.

The next stop was very much different from the first one. Unlike the previous house, it wasn’t exactly two-story, but it was raised 10 or 15 feet above the ground by numerous huge lumbers that serve as the foundation of the building. It was made entirely of wood. The veranda’s neat. The interior was also complimented with antique cabinets, chairs and tables.

As we probed and took pictures around, we saw a big blue trampoline lying outside juxtaposed with the structure.

It immediately brought back our long lost craving for childish games. We raced to it. And what happened next was really amusing. we had so much fun. We bounced together laughing. We made so much noise. We didn’t stop until we were all exhausted   and our limbs felt like jellos. Hahaha!

TO BE CONTINUED…

My classmate, Ruby Anne, invited all our blockmates to their private beach resort in Bagac, Bataan, near Montemar Beach Resort.

it was rushed because it would be our first day of summer class on Monday.

because of the lack of time plus because we didn’t see each other  (we communicated through phones), there was no concrete plan about the activities that we’re going to do. we only cuncured about the meeting place and the time (8:00 AM).

i was at the bus terminal at 7:30. i was the earliest- the most excited. i waited until i saw Jerwin, then Bianca and Kathleen at 8:00.

there were only ten of us there at 9:45.  billy texted romeo that he was on his way. we divided into two. the first group went straight to Bagac while the rest waited for him.

i was among the first group. we rode in a dilapidated bus (the trend in Bagac bound buses) and traveled for an hour. it dropped us at the wet market where we bought the ingredients for our lunch, sinigang na baboy (a sour pork dish made of different vegetable and tamarind to taste) and inihaw na tilapia (grilled fish).

Ruby anne and catherine cooked our lunch. but because we forgot to buy some charcoals, we were unable to grill the fishes.

while they were cooking, we thought that the place was boring, sure the place was big and interesting, but still, half of the place was under construction. and also because we didnt have an idea what to do next after we have eaten our lunch.

nonetheless, the boring atmosphere subsided when they finally cooked the sinigang. since it was an almost unplanned gathering, nobody brought a single eating utensils. but ruby had a really nice idea.

she cut two banana leaves and spread them across the table of our cottage. there we ate our lunch barehandedly. 

we flooded the banna leaf and rice with the delicious cuisine. we were not ashamed to pig out (an interesting proof of our closeness). everyone enjoyed the lunch.

i had never had lunch on a banana leaf. it was sooper dee dooper messy but really cool. everything was perfect- the wind, the sun, the spectacular view of the sourth china sea, plus the company that i had had- my classmates Ruby Anne, Bianca, Clarise, Malen, Kathleen, Catherine, Aldrin, Romeo, and Jerwin– (Billy did not join us,  he and his girlfriend wanted some privacy). it was a fantastic experience…

TO BE CONTINUED…

Today was my enrolment for my coming summer class…

I went to school at 9:30 AM… then I stood in line for I guess 2 hours or more just to get my evaluation form and registration card.

At first, the line was really straight and everything was running smoothly. Thanks to the ever present queue jumpers, the supposedly easy flowing line turned into a mass mayhem… this queue jumpers squeezed through all possible gaps in the line. Though a lot of people expressed their indignations, they were still not prevented.

I have finished getting my registration card at exactly 12 noon, lunch break, all the offices close at noon. Instead of carrying on with my enrolment, I went to KFC with Spongebabe to have lunch.

At 12:45, I started waiting for the next window. I was the first in line but then these two girls asked me if they can go first. Since they were only two, I gave my space.

Then my girl classmates came and asked me if they can wait in front of, not next to, me. I said sure, anyway they’re classmates.

Now what pissed me off was when the two girls’ classmates came and loudly asked them if they can go first. The two previous ladies looked at my direction and said if it’ll be ok with me, I said ok- SARCASTICALLY. To my surprised they thanked me and let their classmates jump the line. And this was also repeated by my classmates; the only difference is that they did not bother to ask if it’ll be fine with me.What supposedly was a split second encounter with the head of college of nursing became a half a century of waiting for my turn.

After that I went to the cashier, now I was determined to do the same, to become the newest member of the “QUEUE JUMPERS’ CLUB”.

I tried to take a space from my classmates who asked me to give them a space but they didn’t let me. Huh! Those ungrateful gremlins… AARGH!So I decided start my long journey at the back.

But, two of my classmates who were chronic queue jumpers publicly yelled at me, saying,“HOY MON! MAY SPACE PA DITO O!”  (HEY MON! THERE’S STILL A SPACE HERE!)I grabbed the chance, I left my place and went to theirs.At that very instance, everyone became aware of my deliberate intentional change of location. They followed me. And the previously nice and neat line became a humongous swarm of chaotic people… I was really thinking of a possible stampede.

We squeezed here and there. We were all drenched in assorted sweats and smells and Carbon Dioxide. The heat was deadly. After ages of long, tiring and highly lethal waiting, it was, thank God, my turn next to Ms L, to pay the cashier.To my horror she closed the window for a few minutes, then she returned and said…“Wala na kaming resibo… bukas na lang kayo bumalik” (We ran out of receipt… just come back here tomorrow). The receipts came all the way from the Main Campus, but since there was an ongoing commencement exercise for all the graduating students, they cannot phone for another batch of receipts.

“WHAT!! Is that a reason?” I demanded. Unfortunately the cashier did not hear anything.

ARGH! Just ARGH! How could this happen to me? To a gentleman like me, who wholeheartedly gave his patience to those queue jumpers? To a good Guardian Angel like me?

Not fair! NOT FAAAAAAAAAIR!!!!   

Unlike other people I know who are really, really excited about the advent of summer, I am left here sulking about my abdominal fate-summer class. It is a pain seeing them fidget about their holiday plans or gaggle together for the nearest resort.

I, on the other hand, am bound to go to my summer classes. In fact, this week is my enrollment.

I hate going to school, especially when it has to happen on summer days.

I should have been resting and enjoying the times, but heck NO! I have to attend my summer classes to take the subjects that are only given during this supposedly 2 months of fun and unwinding.

Thinking about these things just worsens my grudge about school which started when I was in Grade V.

It was June of 1998. I was enthusiastic about going to school. (Who wouldn’t, with all those cool new notebooks and stuff, man, attending the first day of school year was (for me at that time) the most exciting part.)

The start of school year, of course, won’t be complete without the traditional chitchats about the previous summer vacation. Everyone was eager to tell their summer escapades. The crowd was noisy, but I daresay no one was standing or making an ultimate racket- we were just plain noisy.

This was the time when our adviser, Mrs B (for bullshit). I dunno what came over her, or if she was possessed by a demon or what, but what came next was a total shocker to me.

She hurled her bamboo stick and yelled to us;

“Bulllshit kayo! Mga gago!” (You are all bullshits, gago **note I don’t know the English term of gago)

The class was immediately hushed. They, just like me, were shocked.

  I was shaken. I swear, I thought I saw glints of red lights flashing from her eyes and her fangs grew a little longer.

Sure I always hear people swear whenever im outdoor, but to hear a teacher, A TEACHER, swearing on the top of her voice was just weird. And anyway, I do not swear (hey, I grew up in a family that has a taboo in swearing).

I was indeed petrified by my teacher’s attitude. I felt my arteries constricted and my breathing became uneven. That was the first time that I have ever had such a foul speaking teacher.

From then on, I started to hate school.

I was scared that she might see me and then gobbled me whole. She really scared the lights out of me.

Anyway, that was not the last time that we heard her yelling those magical words. The whole year, she’s been saying those to us.

And surely, within a month, the whole class was saying…………..

“Bullshit, talo na naman ako” whenever someone lose a game

or

“Bullshit ang ingay mo,gago” when someone is noisy

or worse

“Tangnamo, Bullshit ka!”

finally, (exhales deeply..) hhhhhaaaaiiiiiiiiiiii… the show is over…

after days of sooper dee dooper exhausting hours of incessant practices… our final examination in my PE is finally over…

i really really dunno how to dance.. in fact, my groupmates said that i look like a swaying bamboo pole…( because beside the fact that i do not have the talent, i am sooper dee dooper tall and very lanky..)

and my hardship in dancing worsen last saturday when they hired (for free) a dance instructor…

man, i was dumbstrucked when she taught us what according to her was the basic steps, "BASIC", in rumba.. she started shaking her butt, hips, waist and all her dangling body parts (hands, feet and hair) in every possible direction… and she calls that move as "caress caress", of course i was horrified… I CANT EVEN SHAKE MY FINGERS!!

then she taught us the actual steps which would have been easier if not because of the CARESS CARESS steps..

gladly, our leader made some adjustments to suit our.. er… to suit our talents…

but we still have two more dances to practice (cha cha and swing), so she asked the help of that dance instructress’ cousin…

she then taught us that we should dance as if we’re craving for sex.. she then added some.. err.. supposedly erotic touches but since my partner, ms. disease, and i were never the best dancers in the whole wide universe, that never happened..

and finally today,

i dressed up in a bodyfit black shirt, black slacks, black leather shoes and a red linen cloth tied on my waist (which until now i still ask what for)… while my girl groupmates wore red silk dresses with ridiculously shimmering beads on the neckline…

and so we danced… and we made such a fine example of a perfect fiasco… we did not dance in unison, my partner tripped a lot of times, she practically forgot some of the steps in cha cha, and i still look like a swaying bamboo pole…

heck, our performance was horrendous and the worse part is, there were hundreds of eyewitnesses(which was comprised of my other classmates, my prof, other students who’re taking the PE in a different sked who already finished there pieces or still dread for their turn, and of course… the kibitzers)

PS this is Ms. disease my partner

NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

this can’t be!!!

iam going to dance the rumba, cha cha, and swing tomorrow… in front of hundreds of spectators…

AAARRGGHH!!!

PS i think i failed my final exam in microbiology… huhuhu