The Last Mon Standing

Unlike other people I know who are really, really excited about the advent of summer, I am left here sulking about my abdominal fate-summer class. It is a pain seeing them fidget about their holiday plans or gaggle together for the nearest resort.

I, on the other hand, am bound to go to my summer classes. In fact, this week is my enrollment.

I hate going to school, especially when it has to happen on summer days.

I should have been resting and enjoying the times, but heck NO! I have to attend my summer classes to take the subjects that are only given during this supposedly 2 months of fun and unwinding.

Thinking about these things just worsens my grudge about school which started when I was in Grade V.

It was June of 1998. I was enthusiastic about going to school. (Who wouldn’t, with all those cool new notebooks and stuff, man, attending the first day of school year was (for me at that time) the most exciting part.)

The start of school year, of course, won’t be complete without the traditional chitchats about the previous summer vacation. Everyone was eager to tell their summer escapades. The crowd was noisy, but I daresay no one was standing or making an ultimate racket- we were just plain noisy.

This was the time when our adviser, Mrs B (for bullshit). I dunno what came over her, or if she was possessed by a demon or what, but what came next was a total shocker to me.

She hurled her bamboo stick and yelled to us;

“Bulllshit kayo! Mga gago!” (You are all bullshits, gago **note I don’t know the English term of gago)

The class was immediately hushed. They, just like me, were shocked.

  I was shaken. I swear, I thought I saw glints of red lights flashing from her eyes and her fangs grew a little longer.

Sure I always hear people swear whenever im outdoor, but to hear a teacher, A TEACHER, swearing on the top of her voice was just weird. And anyway, I do not swear (hey, I grew up in a family that has a taboo in swearing).

I was indeed petrified by my teacher’s attitude. I felt my arteries constricted and my breathing became uneven. That was the first time that I have ever had such a foul speaking teacher.

From then on, I started to hate school.

I was scared that she might see me and then gobbled me whole. She really scared the lights out of me.

Anyway, that was not the last time that we heard her yelling those magical words. The whole year, she’s been saying those to us.

And surely, within a month, the whole class was saying…………..

“Bullshit, talo na naman ako” whenever someone lose a game

or

“Bullshit ang ingay mo,gago” when someone is noisy

or worse

“Tangnamo, Bullshit ka!”