The Last Mon Standing

MonMon,

Nandiyan ka pa ba o natabunan na ng mga popoo sa summer class mo>

Gari

im sorry if i did not update my blog this week… it is my midterm examination week….

plus i did a report in nutrition… and then some practical exams in com sci… and tons of assigned essays in ncm lecture… and long quizzes in nutrition and ncm laboratory…

anyway… i want to post these…

——————————————————————————————-

MY CONGRATULATIONS!!!

i want to say my congaratulations to the following graduates last saturday (or sunday) heck whatever the date congtats…

ms. krystel obispado… history…naks!! magna cum laude… congats..

and to ms. emcee estanislao… interior design… finally… hehehe

——————————————————————————————-

the newest bestseller- BAGONG KARANASAN

the week before last week, Ms. disease blabbed about this erotic novel… (i think it was more of a porn novel) that was sent to her via bluetooth.

in a brief… as in sooper dee dooper brief, period of time, this novel, which is entitiled "bagong Karanasan" (new experience), captured the hearts and curiosity of the innocent minds of my classmates….

though very titillating, reading the said novel proved to be a very hard work… (since you can only read it through your cellphone.)

the novel is too long to be read in cellphones so be ready to endure a ten inches thick of callus on your thumb…

this problem put the whole class in an exodus to look for a soft copy of that post in the net… and just last week, ms pucca produced a 22 pages hard copy of the said novel in Arial font 6.

everyone photocopied the pages. ted even asked me to make a part two of the novel as he handed me a copy last wednesday… (spongebabe photocopied it too and sent it as a birthday present to her sister… ms. emcee e.)

i read it on my way home for only 1 and a half hour… and here’s the synopsis…

Cherlon (the narrator) was about to enter UST for college so his mom sent him to their relatives in manila…

he went there. he was accompannied to his room which is just beside his cousins’ room…

his cousins by the way were cheryl… (base on the way he called cheryl- ATE CHERYL or older sister cheryl, i pre empted that cheryl is older than him) and the younger one cherrie- a pubescent teenager…

to make the story short, he had a lot of sexual encounters with both of his cousins… albeit both were unaware that he was hooking at them at the same time…

this went on for weeks until he unraveled some dirty secrets of the house… he discovered that cheryl is a drug user and has been addicted to sex and drugs because she was molested by her own brother which was discovered by her father… but because she was sooper dee dooper addicted now to sex… and her brother was already sent to US, she then do it with her father and with the rest of the male population of their subdivision including the pushers, other addicts and just recently her second cousin- cherlon, the narrator of the story.

in the end, because of pity cherlon told cheryl to go to a rehabilitation center… cheryl agreed… and because he was afraid that cherie, the younger cousin, might fallow the same path as her older sister since he already devirginized her, cherlon went back to baguio to finish his college there…

and that was the story… my classmates, including the girls, were alll insisting that it has a moral lesson- they say it is "SAY NO DRUGS, BABY"…

PS the photocopyist asked for a copy herself

——————————————————————————————-

TAYO NA SA BEACH- last part

the month of may is nearly extinguished  and i have not hitherto written the ending of this series… i always forgot to write about this… anyway here’s the ending…

after my blockmates exhibited their swimming skills and talents, the boatman asked us if we would like to go to another location- apparently it was a cave… but it was already 4:45 and the last bus trip would be at 6 so we declined his suggestion and went back to the resort to wash.

now my predicament…

if you still remember, i did not plan to swim or anything… and now my underwear was soaking and dripping wet… heck! what do i do? what do i do? WHAT DO I DO?!!!

my classmates were okay if ill barrow their undies, even the girls…. YES!! EVEN THE GIRLS… are they serious?!!! i wont even try to barrow my father’s underwear!!!! NEVER!!!

i took a bath, anyway, outside the house with jerwin, aldrin and romeo… the rest of the girls were upstairs at the bathroom.

ruby and malen tried to peep on us by pretending to barrow the pail that we were using… man, they were very much accomplished in this… their alibis were so believable… but we were not fooled…

i went inside the bathroom downstairs (i didnt know that there is a bathroom their, heck, we let ourselves to be feasted on by the two voyeurs…lol)

there, i rinsed my brief ( i tried looking for a soap but there was none) then i put it on again (ok, ok, stop yucking) after i squeezed the excess water, nevertheless, it was still wet… then we decided to go home…

we rode from the resort to the bus stop. we were not able to ride the last trip. but we still waited… and waited… and waited… and waited… time slowed into a crawl… then, thank God, a man in a motorcycle stopped in front of us and asked us if we would like to hire his jeepney.. we were more than happy to say yes…

he accompanied us to the bus terminal at Balanga city (bataan’s capital) were we parted and took different buses to our respective destinations… sa wakas.. the end… sigh..

——————————————————————————————-

pinoy big bro teen edition

from the start, first pinoy big brother, last august 21, 2005, did not fail to captivate me… in fact the reason why i started blogging was to campaign for chx… (my favorite housemates were- from the start to celeb edition- chx, cass, uma, say, keanna, budoy, bianca and zanjoe)

and now for the teen edition my favorites are

KIM SUE CHIU

JAMILLA NATALIE OBISPO

CHARLES JEROME "bam" RAMONA

MICHAEL VINCENT "mikee" LEE

read more about the recent happenings in the house, click here

——————————————————————————————-

APRIL 25th- the 3rd summer

i want to post this…

FOREVER

Chorus:
I’ll be loving you forever
Deep inside my heart you’ll leave me never
Even if you took my heart and tore it apart
I would love you still foreverYou are the sun
You are my light
And you’re the last thing on my mind
Before I go to sleep at night
You’re always around
When I’m in need
When troubles on my mind you put my soul at ease
There is no one in this world
Who can love me like you do
So many reasons that I want to spend forever with youChorusWe’ve had our fun
And we’ve made mistakes
But who’d have guessed along that road
We’ve learned to give and Take
it’s so much more than I could have dreamed
You make loving you so easy for me
There is one in this world
Who can love me like you do
So many reasons that I want to spend forever with you

Chorus

We’ve had our fun
And we’ve made mistakes
But who’d have guessed along that road
We’ve learned to give and take
It’s so much more than I could have dreamed
You make loving so easy for me
There is one in this world who can love me like you do
That is the reason that I want to share forever with you

Chorus

And girl I pray you leave me never
And this is a world where lovers often go astray
But if we love each we won’t go that way
So put your doubts aside do what it takes to make it right
‘Cause I’ll love you forever no one can tear us apart

Chorus

I just want you to know
I can’t eat, I can’t sleep, I can’t breathe whenever I’m without you
When we walk I stand tall
When I talk I only talk about you

supposedly, yesterday, my class sked would not have allowed me to have a lunch (every tuesday, my sked runs from 7 AM to 3 PM straight… no lunch… snack breaks are to be negotiated with your prof)…

but since our professor in nutrition dismissed us an hour earlier (12 noon), we took advantage and decided to have a lunch…

__________________________________________________________________

A WEEK AGO

last tuesday, i told spongebabe and some of my other classmates how i fancy meself feasting on a big mouth watery AMAZING ALOHA BURGER from Jollibee… i saw it from a TV ad which brought back the memory of the amazing aloha that i used to eat way back when i was in elementary… i remember that it was just 40 pesos then (it is now 63 pesos)… so i asked them if we can go… but they were not in the mood…

______________________________________________________________________

now yesterday… i was actually thinking of eating my lunch at the canteen or at the KFC, since it would be a lot cheaper and i am actually planning to buy a new pair of shoes that day…

… but some of my classmates insisted on eating at Mcdonald’s. so i said, "if we’re eating at mcdo… why dont we just eat at jollibee? anyway, foods taste better there…"

they did not want to… mcdo is far more cheaper and the service is faster…

… i do not have any choice but to say why i really want to eat at jollibee… i told them my AMAZING ALOHA  NOSTALGIA…

"…c’mon, can’t you help me bring back my long lost childhood euphoria for that bacon, and pineapple and amazing beef patty burger?" i pleaded… but they did not care… at least one cared…

it was spongebabe, the girl who had her first time with me…

NOOO WAAY!!! i know she’s up to something… and before i can say the word ‘aloha’ she started to say her… er… well-practiced piece…

" i do wanna go with you." she said glaring at me with those… with those… those… nastily sexy eyes…

" i tasted the aloha yesterday, so i was kindah looking forward of having my first try with jollibee’s newest burger… bacon and cheese…" she paused… " with you."

huh? with me?

if you have read my first blog… you would have known by now how mischievous and daring this girl is…

"so, what this is all about again?" i asked bluntly

"well, i want to eat the jollibee burger..." she paused "… with you… er… with you at mcdo… i want to eat jollibee burger at mcdonald’s" she grinned

"WHATT?!! are you serious?!! you want us to buy those two burgers and eat them at mcdo? no way!!"

but she didnt give a damn… she acted as if i said yes.."ok, that’s settled then… let’s go." she said happily…

she pushed me to jollibee, and in  no time, we already have our very own take outs of those two yummy burgers, together with our fries and cokes…

we went straight to mcdo and yeah… we ate there…

people were goggling at us… and man, it was sooo embarassing..

i asked her if she was not embarassed and she said no. i dare her to raise her hand holding the jollibee coke and she did…

she asked me to go to the counter and ask for an extra gravy… i did not dare…

she said, the fun part about that is that we were going to leave our joillibee mess at our table once we were finished… and the mcdo staff will cvome diligently to pick them up… until now, i was still thinking what exciting about that…

she tried to sip her mcdo sprite and jollibee coke simultaneously… she asked our classmates to buy her a drink… blood sugar now rising… and rising… hehehe

Coral reefs?!! is he serious? of course we want to go… of all the excitements, this was the least expected… the boatman was beckoning us to the reefs… WOW

we rapidly hopped on the boat and in no time we were again embarking on our voyage…

i told you before that we did not plan any of the activities, that’s why we were not prepared of anything. in fact, nobody expected that we were going to dive in the middle of south china sea, so no one brought some goggles or any snorkels with them. (cmon, they forgot to bring their sunblocks, let alone a pair of goggles and snorkels).

nonetheless, we still tried to swim. the boatman did not trust our swimming prowess, so he ordered us to wear some lifevests, which i am too well happy about.(i tell you a secret… whispering… i dunno how to swim). the very reason why we cannot dive… because we’re wearing those bulky orange floaters….

we all jumped into the water. i was still afraid that i might sink that’s why i hooked myself on the katik.

i really have to summon all my strenght, and courage just to let go and enjoy the exciting event with my friends…

i did let go… and to my HORROR!!! AAARGH!! the lifevest that i was wearing has rips on it. the styrophores that were stuffed inside it started to float outward and in second all were having their on swimming marathon…

the thing that i was dreading was finally happening. heck! i was sinking. i tried to wag my extremities violently but i was not moving. i tried to find my footing but the ocean floor was waaaaaaaaaaaaay down below.

i was sinking…

i was panicking..

i was sinking and sooper dee dooper panicking…

what if i drown? what if i die? i dont want to be friends with sharks… AARRGGHH!!!

so i cleared my mind… just like the wise men of indostan… i thought of everything that i learned from my swimming lessons in my PE last school year 2004-2005…

what did i learn? backstroke? butterfly? freestyle? monkey style? WHAAATT??!!

memories of my swimming class reverberated in my mind… is this my memento mori? am i dying? (they say when you are about to die, you’ll see some flashes of memories).

in the brink of deliberate hopelessness, a thing stroke my mind. i remembered the only thing that i learned, the only thing that i was good at, and it was about what you are going to do when you are drowning….. and it is… and it is..

… it is to raise your hands when your drowning so that the lifeguard can see you…

i did not just raise my right hand… nor just myleft hand… I RAISED THEM BOTH. i tried to thrust them into the air with all my might and thank GOD, the boatman rescued me..

HAIIII!! what a relief…

since i was the only one left on board… i just tried taking their pictures swimming and teasing me.. "aaahh hindi makalangoy!!” (aaahh he cant swim!!)…

sob.. sniff.. at least i did not drown

monmon: oy! ba’t my bula dyan? yikes… umiihi..

kathleen: hindi ah…

lahat: ahhh umiihi!!

kathleen: hindi naman eh… galing yung bula dun o..

monmon: eh, umiihi ka lang eh..

kathleen: ah basta… (sabay lingon sa kabilang direksyon)

i was not the only one who cant swim… titz(aldrin) was seen snoggling the katik all those times that we… i mean.. they have been swimming…

STILL TO BE CONTINUED…   www.monmon.wordpess.com

i dunno what came over me but i seem to have forgotten about our only summer outing… my classmates were asking me for the next parts…

anyway here’s the continuation..
______________________________________________________________________________

what promises to be one boring afternoon turn out to be a lot more eventful that we expected.

while we wandered along the beach, Malen mentioned about a boatride that she and her friends had during their last year’s summer outing in Bagac (but in a different resort). she said that if we like, we can pay a boatman for a ride.

her suggestion was fantastic. i have never had a boatride in my whole entire life. we all agreed.

we patiently waited for a boat but the sun was too hot and my blockmates were afraid to get tons of tans (they forgot to bring their sunblocks). so noone contested Ruby when she beckoned us to the cottage.

minutes passed and still not a sign of a coming boat. in the sweltering sun, we were tirelessly repeating the same monotonous conversation just to free ourselves from the growing grasps of boredome. suddenly, far off in the distance, "ayun, my bangka!" (there it is, a boat!), someone yelled. we all looked. the shadowy part of a boat could be seen. a few seconds later, no doubt remained- a boat was indeed coming.

i hurriedly removed my shoes (i forgot to bring my sandals… this was an unplanned outing, remember?) and instructed Billy to look for our things (he was still not keen to go with us. he wanted some quality time with her girlfriend).

i plunged into the sand. OUCH!! it hurt my soles. i ran quickly as possible for the water.

P60 per head and only ten are allowed to ride. we made a head count… CLARISE, BIANCA, MALEN, KATHLEEN, CATHERINE, RUBY, ROMEO, JERWIN, ALDRIN and I… PURRRRFECT! good thing Billy wanted to be left in peace.

in no time, we were out embarking on a journey. for minutes the boat has been tossed by the pounding waves of the ocean. but we were not dettered. our thirst for excitement only grew. in fact, clarise and bianca asked the boatman if they can ride the katik (the bamboo poles that extend from the boat’s side to keep it in balance- i think). the boatman agreed. he helped clarise and bianca to safely snuggle at the katik. they sat there stiffly at first but later on became at eased and enjoyed the experience.

i admit, i envied them. i wanted to have a try. but the water was immensely deep, the waves were huge and furious, the boat was swiftly sailing, and i dont know how to swim… these…. THESE… are the perfect combination for a perfect wet drowning scenario… i didnt voice my thoughts.

we stopped by a beach beside (as in just beside) the montemar resort. the boat parked a little long way from the shore. if im going to jump, i will surely soak myself but i forgot to bring an extra towel… and… and… er… well… actually… i forgot to bring… ahihihi… i forgot to bring an extra underwear… (we didn’t plan anything but our rendezvous in the first place… so i didn’t fancy meself plunging into the water and getting wet all over). so i have to make a choice; number 1- to save myself from getting wet and sulk on board… or number 2- to dive into the water and enjoy, and worry about my dripping wet underwear later…

among the two choices… i chose the latter.. (OK! ok! stop yelling EEEEEWWW, or i’ll knock you head off).

we enjoyed taking more pictures of us. we even laid ouselves on the sand and made such a cute photo opportunity. the place was soooooooo cool and having fun is definitely inevitable…

… but the boatman was muttering something. something about some coral reefs… hmmm… to be continued…

the province of Bataan celebrated yesterday the 64th anniversary of the fabled Fall of Bataan. though unknown to many, it is because of the courageous filipino armies here in Bataan that prevented the Japanese fleat to win over Australia (that was according to Gen. Douglas MacArthur)… hail to all filipino veterans, hail to my fellow Bataenios… MABUHAY ANG MGA TAONG TANGWAY!!!

LAPID BILL SEEKS BAN ON STAPLE WIRES IN FOOD PACKAGES

BY CHRISTINA MENDEZ Staple foods should not literally contain staples.

This was the observation of actor-turned-politician Sen. Lito Lapid, who broached the idea of banning the use of staple wires in food packaging.

Citing health hazards, Lapid filed Senate Bill No. 2239, which would penalize violators from hotel managers down the sidewalk vendors with fines ranging from P5,000 to P50,000 or imprisonment of up to 6 months if convicted.

“Convenient, fast and practical as it may appear, the use of staple wires for packaging is definitely a health hazard. It runs the risk of getting mixed and consumed with the food without getting noticed or, in some cases, the staple wires become rusty as a result of exposure to the elements,” Lapid said.

In his explanatory note, he added this “simple piece of legislation can be considered worthwhile and meaningful even if it only saves the life of a single Filipino.”

Once enacted into law, Lapid said the act would be known as the “Staple Wires on Food Items Prohibition Act of 2006.”

It prohibits the use of wires or any other similar form of metal objects for sealing food items within packaging provides penalties for violating the proposed law.

The coverage of the law would include all food sellers comprised of hotels, restaurants, food chains,  food manufacturers, canteens, markets, stores, vendors and other similar establishments engaged in the activity of selling or producing food items, whether or not it is a registered business entity under the existing laws.

If violation is committed by corporation, association or partnership, the penalty shall be imposed upon the directors, president or the managing partners, according to Lapid’s proposal.

The bill, however, does not mention if a crackdown would be conducted by police once the measure becomes a law, ad whether or not an offender could be detained for violating it.

Taken from THE PHILIPPINE STAR

  MY OPINION

Amazingly, in the midst of all the MUNDANE everyday political issues in the Philippines like Coup attempts and Charter Change, a man, a senator, SENATOR LITO LAPID, observed and made a very profound and highly illuminating step that will change the course of human history… and that is the banning of staple wires from our food packages.

People, this is YOUR TAXES working for you.

The Philippine Government pays BRAINS like this more than 200 million Pesos a year through the pork barrel.

my sister urged my father to go to her school’s commencement exercise…

"bakit gagraduate ka na ba?’ (why, are you graduating?) my father asked..

my sister is a third year high school student..

my sister irritably answered him that she was going to have an award because of her achievements in the following subjects..

CHEMISTRY… for her investigatory project

and… and… and…

because of their school’s low population, the school, by the way, fused the graduation and the recognition ceremony… so my sister was asked to go to attend the high school graduation.. with a guardian…

my father asked, "ano bang award mo?" (what are your awards?)

she proudly answered that she’s going to receieve a medal because of her, according to her, SABOTAGE, investigatory project… (i remembered last year while she bitterly told her story about the unfair, unjust, unreasonable- and all the redundancies- judgement in the competition)..

"i am going to receive two medals"… she pompously declared…"one for the investigatory project and one for being the best in…"

what came next was soooooo incredible, unbelievable, far-fetched, out of this world and all their synonyms..

my sister…

YES my sister got the highest grade in… guess what?

VALUES EDUCATION!!!

i was like… "talaga?"

she nodded and replied defensively… "it was actually.."

what it was actually, i didnt hear her more… i instantly drenched in a complete nostalgia..

reminiscing of my first ever line-of-seven-grade in report card… a grade of 77 in … guess what… EKAWP or GMRC…

i even remembered my teacher sending me to the grade six adviser, i was in grade 3 then, because of a nasty thing that ive done… she had a heart attack by the way… (iam not exaggerating.. she had a hear attack)

and now, look, my sister is having her award in VALUES EDUCATION… AWWW isnt that sweet…

now that we have gone to the fact that she’s the top 1 values education student in her batch…the question is…

is she really is my sister? hmmm…. if she is, how could she top that subject..?

my eldest sibling was taken to the guidance thrice… the second was coined as reyna ng kaingayan (queen of noise) when she was in grade 5… and i… and i… and i am your guardian angel (remember that)

cafter the previous hellish encounter with the barber, i kept myself busy for sometime and tried to forget about my last visit to the barbershop….

i even got the idea to grow my hair a little longer… just to make a difference…

but today, was the start of our summer classes… i have to take a major subject which is NCM200… that’s why i was advised to have my haircut and shave my facial hairs…

this cannot be… i planned to have my next pruning by the end of May… who the hell do they think they are? they are just my college professors… big deal… i am a college student now and no one can make me eat what i dont want to eat, to drink what i dont what to drink, and further more, nobody has the right to tell me when to have another haircut…

so after the orientation, i went straight to the barbershop… lol

the barbershop…

the realm of torture and punishment for me…

even though it has been exactly 69 days since i had my last haircut, the traumatic incidence still keeps on haunting me…

when i was finally in front of the barbershop’s untidy facade, my heart started to beat faster. my bones begun to shook violently. my blood pressure sky rocketed. i knew it, i was in the brink of extinction.

i decided to act as if nothing happened… i should be cool… i should not tremble… i should do my best to hide my increasing uneasiness as i walk towards that open door…

i entered the cursed place…

i saw that he was having his best time doing his evil deeds on a customer… i was shocked that the man was not complaining or anything… or maybe he was just intimidated… yeah that’s it… he was just intimidated..

the loud sound from the barber’s old AM radio trembled as the commentators gave their opinion about the everyday blabbing of our politicians… as the commentators talked about sen. pimentel suggesting about the police ranks or something… the barber, old and greying he was but still strong in appearance, howled and made a distinct and malevolent comment about the news… oh boy, how i love to know that there are things that simply irritate him…

it was now finally my turn, he did not ask me why i was there… nor did i tell him what i was doing there… we knew each other by business…

he has no use of me but business.. and i have no use of him but a cheap haircut… the cheapest in town… (i am an ilocano- kuripot)

he put some metal polish in his electric razor… aaahh… that smell, i wonder why it always lolls me into loosening up and relaxing… my body started to be intoxicated by the fantastic odor that was complimented by the mild vibration of the razor’s blade as it gently shear away my 69 day old hair…

after 20 minutes or so, the barber signaled that the session was over… i looked at the mirror..

in a total disbelief…

GASP!!!

am i dreaming…!!?

the barber cut my bangs… without me telling him what to do…

hmm… does this mean peace?

i doubt it… maybe he’s trying to mimic the american’s stategy in conquering the philippines- BENEVOLENT ASSIMILATION…

NOOOOOO!!! i wont ever give in…